Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I have such mixed emotions for the loss of my grandfather. In my heart I know he is where he wants to be right now. I know it was a long year for him. Everytime I was there to see him, he looked at my grandmother's picture, and said 'I miss her'. And I would tell him, I miss her too pop. We all do. For the past 20 years especially, since they bothe were retired, it was always 'Boots and Ann, and Ann and Boots'. You never saw one without the other. Everywhere they were - they were together. We all suffered an unexpected loss last year when she left so suddenly. That was really hard. But losing him now, after all he went through this year, and all he suffered this past week, I know in my heart I cannot be sad FOR HIM. He passed as peacefully as he could - giving one last soft breath. I know my prayers were answered at this time. I am, however, sad for the rest of us who now only have his memory. I am thankful for all the memories! I am thankful for impact he had on my life. I know of no one that doesn't think of my grandfather, and either smile or burst into laughter, thinking of something he said, something he had done - some happy memory! That is my peace of mind. When I sit and think about him being gone, and I feel tears coming to my eyes, I can't help to feel almost selfish. I had my grandfather 45 years of my life - and he had 91 years here on earth - I guess it was 'his time'. I cannot honestly say 'oh why did have to leave us so soon'. It wouldn't be fair to him. He was ready. He had given us all what he had to give, and now we have to let go. I know in my heart he will always be with me, and the good times will always be fresh in my mind. "Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak You're still an inspiration Can it be (?) That you are mine Forever love And you are watching over me from up above Fly me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile If only for awhile to know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are Are you gently sleeping Here inside my dream And isn't faith believing All power can't be seen As my heart holds you Just one beat away I cherish all you gave me everyday 'Cause you are mine Forever love Watching me from up above And I believe That angels breathe And that love will live on and never leave Fly me up To where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile If only for awhile To know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are I know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are" -Josh Groban